So, those who know me may find my title "Finding my voice, again" quite odd. I talk so much, what's to find? Back in NY, especially in my Hoboken apt, my friends and I often debated, discussed, or rather RANTED about local, international and quite often, more specifically, about the Middle East issues.
I had strong opinions and voiced them freely and loudly.
Then I moved to Israel and became a citizen. Here, I have found myself limited in my grasp of the local political players and their histories, their views, their track records and my former understanding of Israel's Birth has been rattled. And so for the last two years, I have avoided participating too deeply in real discussion, debate, let alone going off into a scatting rant.
Some recent events have ignited that dormant voice inside, once again.
I had Shabbat dinner with some friends in Jerusalem, a few weeks ago. Present at the table was an incredible German woman who has been backpacking throughout Israel and the Territories with her 2 young children. This vivacious, free-spirited woman really wanted to talk about the 'situation' with us, especially after she spent some time on the 'dark side of the wall', as she called it.
She explained to us that she has firsthand experience of how detrimental a dividing wall is to human beings, seeing that as a German, she and her people suffered from having a dividing wall. She explained how the wall inspires hatred and violence.
While I agree that some of the placement of the wall is provocative, I pointed out that East Germans never crossed the Berlin Wall specifically to mass murder the West Germans. The walls served very different purposes.
She said that this may be so, but for there to be peace, we had to put ourselves in the Palestinians' shoes. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Just imagine how you would feel if the land that had been in your family for generations had been taken from you and your home was destroyed. What would you do?".
I put my hand on her hand, returned her eye contact and replied,"My dear, my father is a Holocaust Survivor. You did take the land that was ours for generations, our homes were destroyed and everyone but my father and his parents were killed. My father moved on, went to America, made a new life and forgave you. That is why you are here and we are able to celebrate Shabbat together. The key is forgiveness."
This wonderful woman was frozen. She replied,"Let's talk about music."
We did change the subject to music. But, for me, the point is too easily glossed over. My first husband and his family also lost everything, in Beirut, during the Lebanese Civil War in 1975. His father left all of their savings, their home, their family, friends and fled with whatever they could carry, to start over in Sweden. His father never quite recovered.
I have been surrounded by men in my life who have shown me through their example, that looking forward and rebuilding your life with love AND forgiveness does in fact heal one's soul. It also is a form of Tikkun Olam - it contributes to making the World a better place.
Since Israel's Independence Day, the Arab area of Yafo was plastered with a poster of skeletons laying on a bulldozer with the words: We will never Forget; We will Never Forgive.
I wish we had more Palestinian leaders with the grace and forgiving spirit of my father and my ex-husband to look forward with love or at least forgiveness, in order to create a true co-existence.
